7.05.2008

Just for Your Pleasure

This has little to do with politics, but it is very funny, and I thought I would share with you what makes me literally laugh until it hurts. Forwarded from my loving brother:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:


1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the #1 pick:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

9 comments:

an average patriot said...

Those are really great! How about instead of mortification you have because of the price of gas "motorfication" the inability to move via your car!

Claire said...

Haha!

I love sarchasm, but I don't get it?

Pentad said...

Brilliant. #7 is for me!

Jack Payne said...

You've got some real knee-slappers here, Napnuk. Lotsa laughs. Great examples of what you can come up with by just staying awake.

Kelly said...

Velly velly clever. And funny, to boot.

Houseonahill said...

You never cease at making me wet my pants

Jackie said...

Thanks for the laughs! All 17!

Christina said...

Intelligent humor...I love it!

YogaforCynics said...

Well, I dunno..."ignoranus" is good, but I don't think it compares to "sarchasm" or "karmaggedon" (sp?)