Anarchist Parenting, Why Discipline is So Important.

There is an aspect to Anarchy that isn't often addressed, but has been brought to my attention through some well meant ribbing. That would be parenting. Because many people believe that Anarchists have little use for any rules whatsoever, and amount the entire ideology to that of a chaotic and violent world, it's only logical to assume that this thinking would apply to parenting as well.

Well, it doesn't.

In fact, as I pointed out in an earlier post Anarchists aren't against "house rules" per se. Those rules and morals and social ethics are mutually beneficial for individuals and the tribes they belong to. No, it is the State enforced laws - often created by people too far removed from anyone affected by said laws that Anarchists oppose. Those laws are reactive, rather than proactive, and often times arbitrary with regards to behaviors that are or are not beneficial to the people who must abide by them. Of course, I've already delved into all of that, let's get to parenting.

Keeping in mind the acceptance of "house rules" or "natural law" as some would say the natural progression of logic would mean these rules are also applied to parenting. Anarchy itself is a rather disciplined practice. Individually disciplined, that is.

First, I would like to go over some basic terms, to make sure we are all on the same page here. When I talk about discipline, I am not talking about punishment. Punishment is only a fraction of what discipline entails. To be disciplined one must be well learned in the ways of whatever ideology they follow. In humanitarian terms, that means learning responsible, ethical and moral behavior. I hesitate to say "good" behavior because "good" is also interpreted as "desirable" and that which is considered to be desirable behavior swings wildly from individual to individual and the outcome isn't always "good", or should I say, ethical and moral? Sometimes punishment is needed during the learning period, but it is not, and should not be the first line of defense of a teacher.

So, as we parent we apply discipline, the art of teaching our children what kind of behavior is appropriate, good, moral, ethical, and responsible and we reinforce these lessons by rewarding good behavior, and punishing bad behavior. This might also be a good time to point out that in child rearing terms, these life long lessons are the building blocks of a child's moral character, and this learning occurs most rapidly between the ages of birth and age 7. After the age of 7, or the "age of reason" information that is taught to the child goes through a filter which did not exist for the first 5 to 7 years of their life. The youngest years are the most crucial years in a child's development. So, when I am referring to children, I do mean young children.

If you're wondering what I'm rambling about, I'll get to the point eventually, I promise.

In a joking manner a fellow blogger expressed humorous shock at the fact that an Anarchist expected parents to construct rules and structure for their children. Of course, there is a pragmatic reason for doing so, and it seems so obvious I almost shouldn't even go into it, but I will.

Children are not adults.

Adults maintain the ability to use reason and logic, and understand the link between cause and effect. This allows adults to function within society in a manner that will keep themselves, and others safe, happy and healthy. Children, however, lack that ability. Anyone who has ever cared for a child knows that children haven't got any common sense. They have a very limited comprehension of cause and effect, and have limited use of reason or logic. Although a child may seem to understand that activity X causes result Y, they in fact have not made the connection between the cause, and the effect. Which is why parents and caregivers know that even if the child physically experiences cause and effect, the child will soon forget, and try it again. Running comes to mind immediately. No matter how many times you tell a child not to run because they might get hurt, they do it anyway. Even if they get hurt, they will get back up and do it again.

Hence the need to create and enforce rules. It's for their own safety, as children are incapable of keeping themselves safe without the help of a parent.

There is another reason, however. Children, being a mostly empty little vessel upon birth, will be filled up with life lessons, and quickly at that. It is a parent's responsibility to ensure that their child be filled with solid, informative, and beneficial life lessons. This is where the ideal of Anarchism come into play, at least in Anarchist households. Although, I suspect that many parents do this without even realizing it is an Anarchist principle.

Teaching a child the discipline of personal responsibility is one of the key elements to teaching a child the basic principles of Anarchism.

You can't teach a child how to be a responsible person, if you don't have any structure, rules, or discipline in place. The rules here are not to be confused with authoritarian style dictatorship. On the contrary, when you discipline your children in a structured manner, you teach your child to make their own decisions based on the moral, ethical, and responsibility building blocks they need to become well adjusted Anarchists adults. They will grow into adults with the knowledge that they don't need a governing body telling them the difference between right and wrong, they are more than capable of making the distinction on their own, and are prepared to actually follow through and do the right thing.

Oh, wait, maybe I did mean to say Anarchist after all.

This method is a proactive method, and there is no need for a government to create laws to make it work.

In any case, that is why structure, discipline and rules are so important to Anarchist parents, without it, our children will not learn the much needed practice of responsibility, ethics, and even self reliance (at an older age) that an Anarchist needs in order to live, as an Anarchist.